i want to live without sadness, without getting wet from tears, without being at a loss.

[heartbeats]

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3.30.2015

[heartbeats]

As their nights last longer and the days grow shorter, Nozaki starts walking Chiyo to the train station; he lives in a relatively safe neighborhood, of course, but it's dark and she's a girl and no one is as good at applying beta as she is, and anyway he's always meant to try this once. In a way, this is always true - Chiyo is a collection of his firsts, perhaps mostly because she's the first girl his age to spend any time with him without inexplicably running for the hills.

"What do you think of running for the last train?" he asks her one evening, and she turns beet-red with the implication that she might get stuck behind and spend the night. She's already picturing herself in his pajama shirt before she realizes that he intends to leave now, a full half-hour ahead of time.

"What," Nozaki asks her mid-jog, head cocked, expression confused. "You wouldn't want to get trapped here, would you?" She turns a more purple undertone and starts trembling, which is unfortunate, because it gives Nozaki the opportunity to continue, "I mean, you could help with sketching, I suppose, but the beta is done, and Mikoshiba and Hori-sempai have already used my only spare toothbrushes..."

Chiyo loses her motivation entirely, and Nozaki's long legs are too much to catch up with. When she finally makes it to the station Nozaki is squatting near the entrance he knows she'll use, and he looks up at her and says with a dissatisfied expression,

"I don't think it has the same effect unless the weather is bad." He tilts his head and shifts his gaze back down to the notebook he seems to have pulled out of nowhere - did he jog all that way with that thing?! Did he take notes while running?! ARE THOSE SKETCHES?!! - and his eyes are hooded as he begins muttering to himself about when the next rainstorm is likely to be.

Chiyo shrugs to herself and walks through the gate, making a note with the beep of her train pass to monitor the weather from now on and to bring a raincoat the next time it looks like rain. She almost doesn't register Nozaki calling her name, but when she turns around he's leaned against the gate, eyes concerned.

"I hadn't thought about the difference in leg length, but Suzuki-kun definitely wouldn't leave Mamiko behind. Next time, if you're getting tired, let me know - I can give you a piggyback ride!"

She loves him so much. Too much. She can't even be angry when in the next issue of "Let's Fall In Love" Mamiko reveals she's been secretly practicing to join a marathon, and Suzuki-kun praises her for being able to keep up with him on long-distance runs.

05.27.15

[heartbeats]

1. a sense of anticipation
2. a sense of missing
3. a sense of loss
4. a sense of want

(you know the rest)

WORKSHOP

[heartbeats]